Lindisfarne~Excerpt from book: "Saturn Returns: The Private Papers of A Reluctant Astrologer"

The narrow winding road that led to the castle was cut into on one side by the curving line of the ocean. On the other side was a long rolling field with sheep happily lingering and cows that curiously seemed to be nodding their heads at us. Butterflies and tiny birds flew about our heads fearlessly.

 As we started our walk, Peter pointed to a sign with an arrow: “The Castle: 1 mile.” The air was brisk, cool and windy, the skies moving, open, and moody with thick dark clouds. Every once in a while the sun would shoot through the clouds, piercing our numbness, flooding us with streams of light. I could imagine why most of the 150 inhabitants of the island believed in God. The beauty permeated every cell of my being.

We walked most all the way without talking. It did feel sacred, and natural. We followed the gentle curving path to the castle in the distance and walked along the road with others who had come there too…there was an older couple walking their sheep dogs, a young family with a baby, and a few individual ‘pilgrims’ who seemed to be like us—trusting that there was a good reason to be here. Peter would occasionally point to the horizon line where the endless sky met the blue gray waters and then sweep his hand over the whole vista, and sigh.

 I was quiet. Something was happening within me that I couldn’t find words for—maybe it was a little whiff of hope or maybe it was true that on this holy island the dividing line between worlds—between  the living and the dead, between now and then, between heaven and earth— was thinner and the beauty made it all somehow good. Suddenly it was as if all my pores and synapses were opening up. I didn’t feel sad or mad or guilty anymore, just a feeling of being one with it all; the beauty and the poignancy permeated me right to the core.

As we walked, Peter’s hand brushed against mine a few times. It felt like an invitation, and I took it. Our fingers interlaced, and our feet walked in rhythm. By the time we got to the castle they were just closing for the afternoon, so walked out to the castle garden instead, sat down, and watched the evening sky changing colors over the silhouette of castle.

 “This place is amazing.” I whispered to Peter. “The curving road to the castle, the three of us being together again—it’s all so unreal.”

 “The castle is just a museum, someone’s home once upon a time.” Peter said. “One of the few castles that were never actually used to defend or protect. It’s a symbol, I think.”

He was right; he was seeing symbolically. And though we weren’t “home” it still felt like a good sign—we were circling the center, and perhaps we would all come back home when we were ready.

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Pastel: Elizabeth Spring

Excerpt from Book: Saturn Returns; The Private Papers...

And so I began the reading: “I see the birth chart as being like a conference table, with all the planets circling around it are like the different parts of your Self sitting around the table. The Sun is the chairperson and represents your basic identity, the Moon reflects your emotional nature, the Ascendant is your style of “moving” in the world, and the Nodes are about your life direction and soul purpose. The aspect lines cris-crossing in the center of the chart connect all this—all these voices in our psyche—showing where the conversation is divided and aligned, where it’s tense and where it’s flowing…. ”

My voice trailed off as I looked up at Peter. I wanted to see if he understood this and if he was receiving or resisting this information. It’s easy to see most things, as our emotions are revealed on our faces more than we’d like to imagine. Most of us have no idea how transparent we are—nor do we want to admit that everything about us speaks to who we are—not just our clothes or our tone of voice, but even the way we look at each other, or don’t look, or the way the jaw muscle can be seen tightening or the twitching of the nose that can reveal almost as much as the astrological chart.

As I opened the door of my office that morning, I wasn’t thinking about this or if this client would be receptive. I was feeling my usual reluctance and nervous anticipation, and so was taken aback by Peter’s presence. Thick dark hair, pale white skin and near-black eyes framed a nearly impeccable face, hinting of some purity of heart. I knew he was thirty-five years old yet something made him look older than his years. He was coming here today for his first astrology reading, and as he extended his hand, I was impressed by the gracious formality of his handshake.

The flesh and blood reality of a client always shocks me at first, because after spending several hours analyzing their charts, I think I know them, and I don’t. Clients never seem to look as I would imagine them, and it’s humbling to be so often wrong about first impressions from the chart. And then it’s heartening to hear how courageously they’ve survived and even thrived even with the most “challenging” of birth charts. Peter appeared to be a survivor, and had somehow learned to thrive despite living under what the ancient astrologers used to call ‘”malefic” aspects. Of course, I never use those words, malefic or auspicious, but I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of wounding this man had survived. His chart was challenging, yet his eyes were kind.

“Is this your first reading?” I asked, while motioning him into the cozy room.

“It is…and what a lovely place you have here! Is that a Goddess’s face carved into that fireplace mantel?” He stared intently at her face while I stared at his. He was tall and thin, and wore a dark navy pea-coat with the collar turned up around his neck.

“It is” I answered, while motioning him to the green rocking chair, hoping he was approving of the setting for his reading. This Victorian office had high ceilings and dark wood walls where the lights could cast shadows and allow nuances of mood. The black wrought iron fireplace was carved into with the face of the Goddess, and I hoped that the numinous face would bring the spirit of the feminine into the little consulting room. Her downward looking eyes seemed to know how to keep a secret.

“So have you been doing this long? It’s my first time—you know---I don’t even come up to this part of town much. I’m not much of a believer in anything….so I hope that’s OK, just to try—“

“Of course it’s fine!" A Cheshire cat smile crept across my face. "Let’s just see what we can find here that could be helpful to you.” I splayed the charts in my hand like a card deck. “I don’t predict death by execution or anything like that….we’ll just read what’s here.”

I pointed to the two chairs on either side of the amber stained glass lamp. It was so quiet for a moment. I could hear the motions of the antique clock on the mantel, and I wondered if I had remembered to clear the clutter of papers off my desk. He looked instead at the bookshelf which covered one wall.

“Lovely,” he whispered, as we sat down, and I admired the pristine clarity of his English accent.

Most of us don’t like to feel too vulnerable, and though we don’t want to admit it, I think there’s a mutual resonance that happens when we like or dislike another person or situation, it’s almost instantaneous. We want to feel more in control as we pretend to ourselves that our words, explanations, and sometimes false optimism can present things differently. Yet I could see that Alistair was not only allowing himself to have a reading, but he was willing to “let me in” as well. He listened to my words without interrupting.

Peter’s chart echoed his personal manner: a warm, skeptical and private sort of man. He had his Venus in the private and intense sign of Scorpio, but that was softened by his dreamy Pisces Moon in the 12th house of the unconscious. He had called the day before saying that he was coming to me because he liked the tiny advertisement for my services in “Newport This Week” which noted my background in psychology—specifically, the psychology of the famous Swiss psychologist Carl Jung who was noted for his work with the unconscious and synchronicity.

“You know, I can see that you take this seriously, you’re not just a—what do you call them—a ‘sun-sign’ astrologer or a sketchy fortune teller. I like that…”

I nodded, and thought: here was a gentle man who had come to yet another turning point in his life, and who simply needed a little psychic cheerleading. Here was someone who wanted me re-affirm for him what he already knew to be true---that his first marriage was over, but that the chance for love was still on the horizon. Of course he didn’t say that. What he did say, at the end of our session, was that he’d like to come back.

What he didn’t know about me that day was that I’m a bit of a reluctant astrologer. It’s not about believing or not believing in astrology, because astrology is a language of the soul that exists, and to say that you don’t believe in it sounds to me like saying you don’t believe in “Spanish” or “French”—it’s simply a language that conveys meaning in a very particular way. It opens conversations to personal places without blaming and shaming. I believe deeply in this language, and yet it’s like a finger pointing at the moon. It doesn’t get you there. Instead it describes the journey.

Musical Journey Excerpted from Book: "Saturn Returns~The Private Papers ...

Spiritual & Healing Practices

This is a great link to check out:

Spiritual & Healing Practices  It is the newest review of my new book: "Saturn Returns; The Private Papers of A Reluctant Astrologer" (amazon.com only) and includes not only a chapter of the book, but much more insight/info on how astrology is a heart and soul-centered process....that can heal.

New Book: "Saturn Returns; The Private Papers of A Reluctant Astrologer" (amazon)

This is your life...this is Your Saturn Return...make it good.

Table of Contents: "Saturn Returns~The Private Papers of A Reluctant Astrologer"

"Saturn Returns~The Private Papers of A Reluctant Astrologer"

Chapter One: “It’s never too late to be who you might have been.”


Chapter Two: “And then the knowledge comes to me that I have space within me for a second, timeless larger life.” Rilke


Chapter Three: “I wish that life should not be cheap, but sacred…the days to be as centuries, loaded, fragrant.” Ralph Waldo Emerson


Chapter Four: “Amor Fate: The Love of One’s Fate”


Chapter Five: “All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave
behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter
another.” ~Anatole France


Chapter Six: “When an inner situation is not made conscious, it happens outside as fate." Carl Jung


Chapter Seven: “Simple Grace”


Chapter Eight: “The Devil is in the details…”


Chapter Nine: “Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. Peter Ustinov


Chapter Ten: “If you don’t get lost, there’s a chance you may never get found.” Paul McNeil


Chapter Eleven: “We are constantly invited to be who we really are.” Henry David Thoreau


Chapter Twelve: “Whatever you can do or think you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius,
power and magic in it” Goethe


Chapter Thirteen: “I live my life in growing orbits…I am circling around God…and I still don’t know if I am a falcon, or a storm or a great song.” Rilke


Chapter Fourteen: “Whenever two or more are gathered in my name, there is love.” Jesus


Chapter Fifteen: “The Dutchman’s Tale”


Chapter Sixteen: “Entering Sacred Ground: Carl Jung’s Stone Retreat”


Chapter Seventeen: “The Sunday Afternoon Philosopher’s Club”


Chapter Eighteen: Mirroring: “As Above, So Below.” Hermes Tresmigestus


Chapter Nineteen: “My Barn having burned to the Ground, I can now see the Moon.” Zen Quote


Chapter Twenty: “This is serious,” said Pooh. “I must have an escape.”


Chapter Twenty One: “Love doesn't sit there like a stone, it needs to be made, like bread; remade all of the time, made new.” ~UrsulaK. LeGuin


Epilogue: “And to die is different from what one supposed, and luckier.” Walt Whitman


***


Part Two: Isabelle’s Book: The Saturn Returns


Chapter One: The Saturn Returns:”How to Understand Saturn in your life and chart.
Chapter Two: Saturn in Aries or the First House
Chapter Three: Saturn in Taurus or the Second House
Chapter Four: Saturn in Gemini or the Third House
Chapter Five: Saturn in Cancer or the Fourth House
Chapter Six: Saturn in Leo or the Fifth House
Chapter Seven: Saturn in Virgo or the Sixth House
Chapter Eight: Saturn in Libra or the Seventh House
Chapter Nine: Saturn in Scorpio or the Eighth House
Chapter Ten: Saturn in Sagittarius or the Ninth House
Chapter Eleven: Saturn in Capricorn or the Tenth House
Chapter Twelve: Saturn in Aquarius or the Eleventh House
Chapter Thirteen: Saturn in Pisces or the Twelfth House